I’m always bursting with positive energy whenever I attend our SoMoms’ Coach Pia sessions. We’re truly blessed to have Coach Pia enrich us with her wisdom, inspiring all of us to be better versions of ourselves. Last August’s session was the continuation of our talk about building healthier relationships (my notes from the July session can be viewed HERE). I was really interested in learning about ways on how to be a better wife to Bry. Being married for just 3 years, I know that there are still a lot to work on, especially now that we are adjusting with a toddler and a new business venture. And as what Coach Pia mentioned, our relationship with our husband shapes our children. Well, I know I want Z to grow up with less issues as possible, so I’m willing to work on having a healthy marriage.
So… what is a healthy marriage? Here are the statements Coach Pia taught us to assess if our relationship with our partners are healthy:
1. I can be myself – I can still be myself while nurturing my partner (AUTHENTICITY).
I can trust myself – I can trust my partner (BASIC TRUST).
2. I feel respected – I respect my partner (BASIC RESPECT).
I feel understood – I can understand my partner (DEEPER UNDERSTANDING).
3. I can nurture our children – Our children feel nurtured by us (BASIC PARENTING).
From these statements, we need to asses our willingness and ability to work on different aspects to make a healthier relationship. Coach Pia also taught us strategies on how to achieve this goal. Because I’m a good student, allow me to share with you 3 things that has helped me get on that first step in making our marriage a healthy one…
It is really important to know yours and your partner’s love language. It is how you accept and give love. And more importantly, it is also how you get hurt the most. I was really surprised to find out what mine was. But upon further reflection, it truly was my love language! I also asked my husband to take the test and the results came as a surprise as well! So knowing these facts now, I was more aware of how I’d communicate my love for him. I was also more sensitive of how he shows his love for me, based on his love language.
A healthy relationship is a nurturing one, even the aspects of your partner that you do not understand but is important to him/her. Knowing this now made me understand Bry’s need to go out on weekends to chill with his friends. I may not have been comfortable at first (or maybe I was inggit?!) but thinking how it is helpful to his own “bubbles”, I let go of the nagging. And there’s nothing I can complain about because he also gives me and Z a lot of quality time. From his end, I know that he may not fully understand my work as a “blogger” but he still allows me to go to events, even accompanying me to some because he knows that this is important to me.
As young parents, we’re both in the process of establishing our parenting skills. But I’d like to think that we’re nurturing Z the best we could. Thing is, we have different ways in caring for Z and I think that is a very good thing for him and for us. While I nurture him through my milk, my husband likes bringing him to the toy store. Though I don’t always allow them to buy something, at least, they got to spend time looking at the boy toys (which all look the same to me!).
Transcend From the Ego
Okay… So, I’m still working on this one. And I think I may need another session with Coach Pia on how to choose to transcend from my ego self. It is never healthy to feed the ego as it only responds purely for self-preservation. To let go of the ego means to focus on your values and goals — your truest self. Most of the time we need to be in control or to be approved of, that is the ego talking. It sounds really hard to do, especially when you’re super frustrated!!! I think this will be homework for a long time!
This session happened at the newly opened hotel in the lifestyle district of Quezon City — Sequioa Hotel. It is a business-friendly hotel which boasts of modern chic and minimalist interiors and offers excellent comfort, service and dining to guests who are in for business or pleasure. Their Oak Ballroom can be transformed to accommodate a small business meeting or a 400-guest wedding reception! A dedicated Banquet Team will ensure your event’s success and that every little detail is met.
Their in-house restaurant took care of the SoMoms’ grumbling tummies! From a group of caterers of more than 10 years experience, this is their new baby: Ombu Modern Filipino Restaurant. From the name itself, one can expect Filipino delicacies infused with Asian and European flavors. With a highly knowledgeable and trained staff, minimalist yet tasteful interiors, and a mouth-watering array of dishes dining at Ombu will truly be a memorable experience! Can’t help but crave for these favorites:
It is also in this session that the SoMoms welcome their newest partner in their #BetterMe campaign — BPI, as they believe that the family is a key pillar in financial wellness. Both VPs of BPI, Mita Gozar and Chiky Lukban are moms! Moms with a lot of financial questions, like me, can easily communicate through them via email. How cool and convenient! It really is through the parents that children learn the ways of the money. To be guided by Mita and Chiky is such a privilege! You may also address your questions on anything related to moolah to them through: email@example.com and firstname.lastname@example.org 🙂
Whew! This was quite a lengthy post, but I poured my heart into it! I hope you’re inspired to take the steps toward a healthier relationship with your partners. In order to learn more, do visit The One Core’s page to see the learning sessions available. They offer free sessions and have online learning tools as well!
For Sequioa Hotel‘s room rates and accommodations you may contact them at:
Telephone No.: (02) 921-7469 to 71 local 101
Mobile No.: 0915-719-9109
Reservations for Ombu Restaurant can be made through:
Telephone No.: 441-1789
For instant updates from BPI, follow them on Twitter @TalktoBPI
Be inspired by The One Core‘s daily posts on making better life decisions on:
Twitter and IG: @theonecore and @coach_pia