As usual, I learned a lot from Coach Pia during our #BetterMe session held last November 20 at Cafe 1771. It was also assuring to know that some of my parenting philosophies help in building my son’s self esteem.
- Praising is good.
During my stint as a preschool teacher, I never believed in stickers, stamps or any kind of material reward. But I was generous with praising the kids. With Z, I affirm his act when I want to reinforce a behavior. For example, I tell him “Wow, you packed away all your toys!” or “It’s good that you shared your toys”. Coach Pia said that there is nothing wrong with praising a child and parents should do it always. Words are really powerful, especially to young children. And when a child is praised, loved, cared for and supported, he’s sure to have a high self-esteem.
- Do not discipline to be feared.
I really hate the Pinoy tactic of scaring a child just to have them follow a command. And most of the time, this fear is attributed to a person; “I will tell the police you are not following Mommy!” or “Lolo will get mad if you don’t do this!” or “Ayan na yung doctor, i-enjection ka na!”. I pity the unknowing police, Lolo or doctor and I pity the child who will forever be scared whenever he sees a police officer, doctor and worst of all, his Lolo! Parents, please teach your children RESPECT, rather than teach him unnecessary ill-feelings toward other people. Do not coerce a child to do something he doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to do. Offer him choices to make him feel that he is in-charge of the situation. For example, a child does not want to pack away his toys. Instead of you, the parent, throwing a tantrum over the mess, why not say “When would you want to pack away, after eating your snack or after you take a bath?” Do not take it personally when they haven’t learned a skill yet.
- Quality and Quantity matters
Coach Pia reiterated that parents must have one-on-one time with each of their children for at least 30 minutes a day. To have a balance with quality and quantity time, parents must plan ahead. Ask your child what she/he wants to do when it is your “together time”. Focus on positive activities and be fully present. Create enough quantity time and make it high quality time as this will strengthen your bond with your child.
Similarly, you should also plan a “couple time” to keep the fire burning in your relationship. Couples need to be intimate on all levels – thoughts, feelings and actions. My husband and I are working on this and hopefully Z will be a big brother when he turns 3 (HAHAHAHA). To be okay with your partner is the best gift you can give your child.
Speaking of high quality, did you know that with HP Ink Advantage, you can print lab-quality photos and archive-quality documents without spending too much on inks?! That’s what we also learned that day as HP Philippines made our session possible. They have a new line of printers out like the HP Deskjet Ink Advantage 5525 e-All in One printer. Aside from being able to print, copy and scan, this wonder-printer has HP ePrint installed in it – it makes you able to print from anywhere using a smartphone or tablet! How cool and productive is that?! They also offer apps, which you can set up a printing schedule, so your news bits or recipe card or your child’s coloring page is ready when you need it.
Social Media Accounts to take note of:
The One Core