#BetterMe: Valuing Fathers

This is a long overdue post but still very timely!

 

This was our #BetterMe session with Coach Pia last June held at Seda Hotel in BGC.
This was our #BetterMe session with Coach Pia last June held at Seda Hotel in BGC.

Fathers take on a major and active role during baby-making, but most take a backseat in parenting! Coach Pia explains that we cannot expect men to be what they are not. They can’t be expected to have instincts that are not natural to them, and that includes taking care of children. Moreso when the father is the primary breadwinner for the family. Coach Pia points out that the energy for earning money is different from the energy in taking care of children. But this shouldn’t be a reason to put down fathers. We just have to accept that men are wired differently than women.

So… how do we encourage daddies to take a more active role in parenting?! Coach Pia shares concrete ways to do so:

1. Be deliberate about co-parenting.

Assign tasks to your husband which will play up his strengths as a parent. Don’t make him feed your toddler if he has no patience for a picky eater.

2. Focus on the well-being of the child.

Speak to each other in private, especially during arguments. It is not wise to put down a parent because it devalues the child. Remember that the welfare of the child is more important than the emotional ties of the parents.

If we do not value Dad, we do not value the child.
If we do not value Dad, we do not value the child.

 

3. Give Dad a chance.

How you will give the baby a bath may differ from the way your husband will go about it. Three words: LET IT GO. Focus on the over-all picture. Your husband will do the best he can in the tasks assigned to him. Blaming is not an option as it will just worsen the situation.

4. Include him.

This was a light-bulb moment for me because I was always assuming that my husband was too busy to join us in our daily activities and I was beginning to resent him. Well, all I needed was ASK! This is why family meetings are important to check schedules and priorities.

5. Stay positive.

Yes, bawal maging NEGATRON. Don’t focus on faults when communicating with your husband. Praise him for the things he did really well and offer (nicely!) ways on how he could’ve done better on a task.

6. Expect resistance.

Men will be men. And as far as I know, men only like being told what to do during sexy time.

7. Time is your friend.

Don’t expect your husband to be a doting hands-on daddy overnight. Allow things to take time.

This is really timely to reflect on since we’re expecting Baby Number 2 by early next year. Handling a toddler and a newborn is a daunting task for us but I know my husband will do his best to help me!

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#BetterMe: Keeping the Home Full of Love

Home is where the heart is. And as a homemaker I really, really want to make our simple 2-bedroom unit as loving and as peaceful as possible. That no matter if we move houses, Bry, Z and I will adjust accordingly because of the overflowing love we have as a family.

Coach Pia shared 3 ways on how to keep the home full of love during our last #BetterMe session:

  • Living a healthy and stress-free lifestyle.

This is a non-negotiable, according to Coach Pia. We all must take care of our health to ensure that we can also take care of our family. I’m just really happy that Bry and I are not sickly, must be because of all the Lysol we’ve used in the house. And thanks to breastfeeding, Z has not gotten a fever since the start of 2014! We’re also doing away with the canned foods and focusing more on natural food sources. I can’t really ban fast foods but as long as we’re in the house, we would always have home-cooked meals.

Leaving the work-related stress at the door is something my husband should learn to do. But since he do most of his work at home, we really need to set an office space so that his work-stress is not felt in our bedroom, where his computer is located.

  • Family Meetings

Since Z is too young to sit down for a formal meeting, we usually do it while having dinner or when the three of us are all in bed. My husband and I usually talk on Sundays to prepare ourselves for the coming week. In the talk, we discuss our schedule, menus, expenses — the important stuff we can’t lengthily discuss when he has work to do or when I’m in a rush. So it’s best to set family meetings when all the members are focused.

A family calendar ensures that no one gets left behind.
A family calendar ensures that no one gets left behind.

It is also important to note in a family calendar a mom’s me-time. Coach Pia suggests that moms have at least 2 30-minutes of authentic me-time to nurture herself. It can be as simple as having coffee or as grand as a body scrub and massage (that sounds good right now!) And for the spouses, one date night a week and twice a week of any form of sex is required to keep the sparks alive!

Family meetings need not be serious all the time. You can also have fun by doing an activity everyone agrees upon, like playing board games, baking cupcakes or going to the park! These days, my source of perspiration is dancing to anything Hi-5 to my son’s delight! There have been studies that music enhances family life, so I suggest having background music whenever you’re at home.

  • Unconditional Love and Acceptance

Of course, of course, of course!!! The home should be the first place a child would turn to for love and acceptance. I think coming from families with a lot of love, Bry and I also want the same for our own family. I want my son to grow up feeling loved that he ‘ll have the confidence to be anything he wants to be.

It’s such a coincidence that our session was held at a budding home in the Metro. DMCI’s Flair Towers in Mandaluyong boasts of resort-inspired amenities and new technologies to keep the building safe and well-ventilated. Thank you to the Flair Towers team for being our venue and food sponsor for this #BetterMe session!

If not for the sunshine-y rays of the sun, the Sky Lounge will be a perfect spot to contemplate!
If not for the sunshine-y rays of the sun, the Sky Lounge will be a perfect spot to contemplate!
The model unit's living room and dining area. So chic!
The model unit’s living room and dining area. So chic!
I can relax here the whole day!
I can relax here the whole day!
Something for the kids! Flair Towers' kiddie pool is spacious!
Something for the kids! Flair Towers’ kiddie pool is spacious!

Thank you also to Lysol Philippines for being a co-sponsor for this event. A reader will also get a Lysol Gift Pack. Watch out for my giveaway post within this week!

Lysol's new products: Disinfectant Spray for Baby's Room  and Liquid Hand Soap!
Lysol’s new products: Disinfectant Spray for Baby’s Room and Liquid Hand Soap!

Part 2 of this session should be up by next week! Coach Pia and The One Core team helps me in being a progressive parent for Z! I’m also very grateful for YBS for making #BetterMe sessions possible!

Group picture!
Group picture!

The One Core’s LIFE

We all know that prevention is better than cure. But did you know that illnesses start within our body even before we can feel it physically?! When an illness starts, it can be detected at the nerve endings way ahead of the outright signs and symptoms. But how?! The answer is LIFE! A new, state-of-the-art technology from Europe is now in the Philippines courtesy of The One Core. Coach Pia reiterated that to make better life decisions, you must be healthy first.

LIFE Presentation

 

LIFE is a non-invasive procedure so it’s perfect for those who are afraid of needles like me! Through a sensor, the nerve bundles are scanned and the data is stored the computer. The data is then analyzed and a Wellness Analysis Report is given. All of this in just 10 minutes! No needles, no fasting (but preferably no food intake just before the scan), no time wasted!

The readings are translated to curves to measure the balances in your body.
The readings are translated to curves to measure the balances in your body.

The report will give an account of the status of the following:

  • Vital Organs
  • Body Energy Index
  • Metabolic Index
  • Mental State Index
  • Tendon Bone and Blood Index
  • Thyroid Gland Index
  • Autonomic Nerve Index

You will also get a list of suggestions to address the areas of concern. And for those who go to acupuncturists, there’s a chart given which can tell them where you need to be treated.

Proud to be well-balanced!
Proud to be well-balanced!

Thank you to Coach Pia and The One Core for this Mother’s Day treat! I’m happy to say that my over-all reading was balanced. To my surprise, my problem with my spine was detected even though it was only the nerve bundles in my hands and feet that were scanned. This is amazingggg! I highly recommend this to everyone even though you don’t feel anything!!! If you are 12 years old and above and not pregnant, schedule your LIFE scan before June ends and get 50% off! Call (02)-4364143 or (0922)-8944143 to book your appointment.