Even though she doesn’t say it, I know my mom is proud of me for getting married first before having a baby. Ours wasn’t a smooth-sailing relationship back in the day. I was the rebellious, love sick, angsty teenager, to which you’ve said the lines “… papunta ka palang, pabalik na ako.” But all of this changed when I became a mom myself. It is so true when they say that you’d be more appreciative of your parents when you’re already one. I now know why you (and Papa) did this, said that and would do whatever.
Let me take this opportunity to say THANK YOU MAMA…
for sending me to good schools, ever since I was 2 years old. And for understanding that I could never be a doctor.
for letting me grow up, make mistakes, pick myself up and be better. I am who I am now because of those moments.
for holding my hand while I was giving birth. And giving me Coke when my blood sugar went down.
for loving and spoiling Z, just how grandmas are supposed to be.
My relationship with my other MOM is described in this quote:
I am really sure that I married a good man because he was raised by a great mother. I’m blessed to have a supportive, loving, understanding and generous MIL. It is because of her that I learned to “reward” myself with nice things and at the same time the value of saving up for a rainy day. She teaches me to set aside time for myself in order to take care of my family better. And the most important lesson I got from her: family is family, no matter what.
With these two wonderful ladies guiding me in my own mommy journey, Z is in for a great ride!
That has been the hashtag of my life for the past 2 months. It was a good practice of home management, parenting, time management and communication skills. Fortunately, we’ve got a new helper already (really praying that she’s the one!).
Some may roll their eyes at the scale of what I’ve been through for the past months. But having a helper for more than a year, then suddenly leaves us for her boyfriend, was downright shocking. It was the time that Z was starting to explore his surroundings, that he can’t be left alone. So the chores waited until Z was asleep, or if the grandparents were visiting. It’s also a good thing that we live beside a mall, so meals were still delicious. And there wouldn’t be dishes to do.
I’m really in awe at how some families do away without a helper. I was dead-tired most days and I felt that I wasn’t giving Z the proper attention and stimulation because I was thinking of the dirty floors, empty fridge and soiled cloth diapers.
But I’m proud of our little family, because we survived! There were no major setbacks even if we did not have a helper. My connection with my husband grew deeper because I know how much he appreciated how I ran the house and take care of our son. Z also showed independence by learning to play by himself when told that “Mommy needs to do something”. I now know that asking for help is not a weakness. After all, it does take a village to raise a child, and clean a house!
So, tell me, can you live without a helper? I can’t wait to read your insights!
I’ve been privileged to be invited by New Beginnings to a talk by Life Coach Pia Nazareno-Avecedo. I surely learned a lot, and there was a party in my tummy courtesy of yummy Japanese food (Thanks, Sugi!). Being a new mom, it’s important to have a support group such as New Beginnings, who I know will lend an ear to my worries without prejudice. Having a “mommy group” also helps in finding out new advancements in the different aspects in raising a baby.
The title of the talk is: “Raising Little Heroes: A Parenting and Self-Enriching Program“. This is the first of a series of modules, aptly titled “Filling Each Child with Love“. Here are the lessons that struck me the most:
There is a parenting style called “progressive parenting“. I know that I belong in this category because I am willing to understand new ways and techniques of parenting to adapt in this day and age. Modern moms are not just relying with the tried and tested method as times are changing now. Sure, some of the traditional practices may still work, but we need to be open to newly-researched parenting strategies.
In order to raise a happy home, there should always be a high level of positive energy coming from you. This will emanate from you to your kids to your household. This will ensure that there is quality time together, no matter the quantity. People with high positive energy are those who are: enthusiastic about parenting; not N.R. (no reaction); without signs of depression and; engaging to people.
This statement from Coach Pia hit me in the bulls-eye: “Nothing good will happen if you’re attached to your children“. Since day 1, Z and I have just been separated from each other, maybe for an hour. I’m scared to leave him with anybody else. But, Coach Pia is absolutely right. Now that Z is nursing less often, he can stay with Yaya (or Mamita, Popsy, Wowo or Wowa) for longer periods of time, in another room or place, without me. This is good for both of us; me so I can blog (or shop!) and for him to adjust to other people and surroundings. Of course, because I’m OC, I’ll leave lists of what he can eat, how to change his nappy, etc. Or I shouldn’t. I should not be guilty in wanting to spend time with myself or for Z to spend time with other people. As parents we are teaching the young ones to be able to stand on their own and trust their instincts. He is not an extension of me; he has a life to live. His pain is not my pain; but I can help him deal with it. Just yesterday as he was going to get his 6-in-1 shot, I looked him in the eye and said “You will be given a shot. It will hurt but it’s good for your body. Yes you may cry but the pain will go away.” I just held his hand as he cried for a few minutes, then he was back to his jolly self again. Oh, progress!
Spend time with your children wholeheartedly! The intent to be with them should be 100% and nothing less. So, turn off those iPhones and stop tweeting or updating your Facebook.
There are different parenting styles for each child. As each child is unique and so should your ways with them be. This thought would greatly help parents to stop comparing their children. They are special as individuals.
It was a fruitful morning, indeed! There’s still more to share from the handout but I stated those which are relevant to me in stage of parenting. There were also valuable insights from the other mommies present. I’m really looking forward to the coming modules. These lessons are shaping who I am as a parent, as Z is growing up.
Can you relate to what I learned?
Do come back for a little contest from New Beginnings!
Thanks Kris for inviting me! A shout-out to my new mommy friends as well!