There will come a time that milestones will feel bittersweet.
Case in point: Z is now sleeping all by himself in his own bed but still in the same room with us.
His transition may seem abrupt, but he was asking for his own bed since last year. I think I was brushing the thought away because it will mean that he’s really a big boy already.
But, who am I kidding?!
He IS a big boy already. And while I’m happy that he is being independent, it means that he is needing me less, which kinda pinches my heart a little.
It wasn’t too long ago when I was wishing he could take a bath on his own, dress by himself, eat independently, wash his butt after he poops and read books by himself. And now that he can do all of these, I find myself asking him “Do you need my help?” And he would always say “Let me try” or “I can do it”.
When I sent this advice to Mommy Mundo for their planner, a huge part of it was from me truly understanding why my mom was how she was with me when I was growing up. You see, I was the typical rebellious hormone-raged teenager who wanted to be liberated from the rules of my parents. Thinking about it now, I’m really thankful that no matter how many times I bent over my mom’s rules, she didn’t give up on me and pushed me to be a better person (Sorry nalang Ma, you didn’t push hard enough to make me go into medicine!)
I know you think you are not a great mom, but you are! But you’re an even better Wawa! I can only be wish to be as strong as you when the day comes that my kids will be out partying!
We’ve celebrated another milestone – Z’s first school year ended with a bang!
It feels just like yesterday when we brought him in for his first day. And now, we’re done and moving on to a new, bigger school!
Here’s a few realizations I’ve listed down in my journal across the 10 months.
My anxiety transfers to Z. Which is why I can’t be the one to bring him to school. If it will be me, he’ll just cry. Lesson learned: don’t be too much of a drama queen! Haha. Seriously though, I’m lucky that my husband is strong when I’m weak. He took on the role of bringing Z to school and adjusted his work schedule to do so. As the school year was coming to a close, I felt more relaxed. And it was then that I got to bring my little big boy to school!
During one of our #BetterMe sessions with Coach Pia, she gave us a situation: your child is playing in the playground while you sit and watch over her. One kid did something to her which you didn’t quite like but your child didn’t seem to mind. What should you do? Coach Pia said that if your child does not say anything, DO NOT REACT. Do not prod or worse, reprimand the other child. If your child didn’t react to the situation, why should you. This stuck to me. And it has been put to good use as Z got in a class where they were 9 boys! Imagine the energy in that classroom; there would really be active and rough play. If we were to react to every time we see Z get bumped or lose, we’d be raising a very weak and dependent boy who would not be able to stand up for himself! I think it is very important to raise a resilient child, and we as parents can help them to be one. There was a time that he was pushed by a classmate and he got wet. While I knew of the situation before he got home, I tried very, very hard to stay calm and wait for the right moment to ask him about it. The right moment happened when I was giving him a bath the next day. This was our conversation:
Me: What did you do in school?
Z: Classmate pushed me.
Me: And then what happened?
Z: I got wet.
Me: And then?
Z: I’m sad.
Me: (trying to hold back tears) So, what should we do about it?
Z: Tell Classmate, “no pushing”
Oh diba, because I was calm, I got his side of the story, we assessed and acknowledged his feelings and most importantly, he knew what to do the next time it would happen.
I set goals for Z at the start of the school year: 1) Talk more; 2) Adjust in the new environment and people; and 3) get him to finish sit-down activities. Notice I didn’t put anything academic?! He might be enrolled in a somewhat traditional school but I told the teachers our main goal for Z was to adjust and start being independent. Fortunately, his teachers were on the same page. They got Z to let go of his trainers and say when he needs to go to the toilet; he would try to do a task on his own first before asking for help; he’s keen on eating by himself now; and he’s not afraid to try new things. So what happened to our goals?! Yes, he’s talking a lot these days though we need to work more on pronunciation and speaking in Filipino; he got the “Most Caring and Friendly” award so I guess goal number 2 got accomplished. We still have our moments when he needs to practice writing, but at least now I don’t have to hold his hand! While we didn’t pressure him in any academic concept, he is now trying to read words, adding and subtracting, telling time and he knows 3D shapes and the order of the planets in the solar system. My point? If a child is well-adjusted to his surroundings, he will be more receptive to new information. So whether you choose a traditional or progressive school, how a child feels will be the tell-tale sign of his progress.
Oh wow. How’s this for just one school year?! I know we are to experience more ups and downs, little boy. Whatever the weather, you’ve always got us. I will never get tired of saying how proud we are of you. *fist bump*