There will come a time that milestones will feel bittersweet.
Case in point: Z is now sleeping all by himself in his own bed but still in the same room with us.
His transition may seem abrupt, but he was asking for his own bed since last year. I think I was brushing the thought away because it will mean that he’s really a big boy already.
But, who am I kidding?!
He IS a big boy already. And while I’m happy that he is being independent, it means that he is needing me less, which kinda pinches my heart a little.
It wasn’t too long ago when I was wishing he could take a bath on his own, dress by himself, eat independently, wash his butt after he poops and read books by himself. And now that he can do all of these, I find myself asking him “Do you need my help?” And he would always say “Let me try” or “I can do it”.
A few weeks ago, we received a letter from Z’s school that he was a medalist candidate and would need to take the medalist test. I was over the moon proud of my little boy! But during the Recognition Day, his name wasn’t on the list of medalist awardees.
I would be lying if I say that there wasn’t a rush of thoughts going through my head — we could’ve studied more; should I have set a no-gadget rule during school days; what happened?!
Why was getting an award important to me? Would it make me a better mom? Was it a tell-tale sign of what his future will be?
I think at this point, getting an award is more for the parents than it is for the child. School at this age should be about playing, making friends and just enjoying.
Then, the program started and I was enveloped in peace seeing Z in his purple long-sleeved polo singing and doing the actions. He’s come a long way from the first school day when he didn’t want to let me go to someone unfazed with being on stage with a lot of audience. Medalist or not, I know that Z did his very best! I rest with the thought that at least he qualified to be a medalist and he didn’t have a hard time coping the whole school year.
And then I came across this article and gave me a lot of insight. There are far more important traits to have than awards and medals. Grades will just be on the paper; being kind, compassionate and generous will be long-lasting.
Just yesterday we received a box of cookies and I told my kids that they can share 1 cookie. I broke the cookie in half and gave them their piece. Z then went on to break his piece and said “this is for you, Mom.” And my heart swelled.
Most of the time, it’s easy to focus on what your child is not, completely ignoring what he already is – the best version of who he’s supposed to be.
I’ve no plans on being a bouncer, so might as well be great in referee-ing, haha! At this point where my kids are ages 5 and 1.8, referee-ing is just in the following situations: when the big brother is active and might hurt the little sister; when the little sister messes up big brother’s toys; and when both of them want to be on Mommy! But overall, Z and Y are very loving and affectionate of each other. And that’s my #cheers moment as of late.
Z takes on his big brother role seriously and will not let anyone “borrow” his sister. I also appreciate it when he’s the one doing the explaining to Y. For example, last Friday we were supposed to play in Kidzoona but it was closed for an event. Y was obviously in distraught when we were walking away and then I heard Z tell her “It’s okay Ysabelly, we’ll play there next time.” And when we went for their check-up and vaccine, Z was the one consoling Y when she cried after she got her shot. He says that Y is his best friend. Haaay, this little boy may be a handful at times but his heart is so big!
Y is at the stage wherein whatever her Kuya holds, she’ll want to have it too. We had to buy them matching shoes because Y will get Z’s rubber shoes! And more often than not, she follows Z so I’ve to tell Z to tell her to clean up or sit down. She adores her Kuya and smothers him with kisses!
Thank you Cheers for making me appreciate such a simple gesture from my kids, which is actually a big thing because they have no choice but to love each other! And for being our partner in cleaning up the mess this siblings make!
*This is an entry to Nuffnang Philippines Blog Contest*